I'm a Cowboy, I check/call my draws

March going about as bad as February. Struggling mightly at this point to keep my supernova status. I feel horrible. I will just come right out and say it. I am getting off an anti-psychotic medication I take called clozaril. I have been on clozaril for 4 years now. If you are new to my blog, I have schitzo-affective disorder. For this I was prescribed clozaril. Well, the news has not been good about clozaril. The damaging effects it has on one's cardiac health. The constant need for sleep, the flattening effect. I told my doctor I'm done with it. Put me on something else. Anyway, getting off the clozaril is proving to be very difficult. I can't harldy sleep. I'm withdrawing, I'm agitated. It's like coming off a street drug, I'm just crawling in my skin and tired and miserable.

My doctor has put me on another anti-psychotic medication. I have not been taking it. Fuck it. I'm not getting hooked like a fiend on theses drugs. They mess your body up. I'd rather be healthy and out of my mind. But I think I can be healthy and sane without these drugs. I'm working on it. But , right now, right now it's a nightmare.